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The Stages of the Dark Night of the Soul
The Dark Night is part of the awakening process and happens when you hit a certain point along your journey. Its purpose is woven into your own unique unfolding, soul lessons and path. The hardest part of this Dark Night of the Soul is that it disconnects you from the Universe. That is a tell-tale sign that you are in one: where there was once connection to spirit, where there was once flow and light from within, that gets completely and utterly disconnected during the Dark Night.
After the Dark Night
When I began to step out of the Dark Night, it was as if I was a completely different person inside. I felt so light, so empty. My being felt as if so much had been dropped and so much had been let go of that when I closed my eyes there was so much more space.
When It Rains, It Pours
I was being called into the darkness and to say that it was intense is an understatement. Especially while also trying to be a mom of a toddler as well as a newborn. My internal life completely and utterly unraveled. I felt deserted by the universe and was left barren, stripped and in the dark with nowhere to go except to simply let go.
The Transition to YOU
Within a Dark Night of the Soul, the transition might be the hardest part. The transition comes after you have dissolved the old you, after you have dissolved the ego. It comes after you have walked through the void between the old you, the fear based you, and the new you, the new spirit aligned you.
The transition essentially feels like a battle taking place inside of you.
Transitioning from the Old to the New
The toggle between the old and the new feels as if a war is going on inside of me. Ego keeps yelling I want it my way and I want it NOW. It’s a screaming toddler. It yells mean words. It’s berating. It’s doubt. It’s mistrust. It’s wanting things to change now. It’s an energetic force within you. It feels oily and misguided and only in it for the ‘me.’ It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. It wiggles its way through and says NO. It’s long held fears. It’s worries about the future. It’s trying to keep the small me safe.
The Transition
Truly embodying and just being your being-ness does not happen at the drop of a dime. This transition takes time, dedication to the new embodiment and trust.
The Dark Night of the Soul
When the Dark Night hits. You feel like you are going mentally insane. Because you are. Life force is pushing you to go beyond your ego mind and your limiting beliefs. And in order for you to truly commit to this and go to the beyond. Your mind has to go crazy. It has to be uncomfortable. It has to be unbearable. It has to be a place you no longer want to live from. Essentially you have to be pushed so hard that you are willing to take that leap of faith into the unknown. Into spirit. Into life force. Into God Consciousness. Otherwise why would you ever leave the, what you think at the time as safe, confines of your ego mind.
What Nobody Tells You About the Awakening Process
When I started, I had no idea what would be asked to relinquish and also within that, no idea how hard it would be to actually do this. Honestly, I feel like a lot of teachings somewhat brush over this. It is extremely challenging and painful and difficult to let go of our long-held beliefs, fears and habit energies. It is so incredibly terrifying to say yes and relinquish your control to spirit. To let go, to give in, to accept, to trust—it can be so, so hard when you are in the midst of challenging situations. To give in when every bone in your body is saying no.
What the Dark Night of the Soul Feels Like
Heart hurts (pressure in the heart center and releases)
Gut hurts (pressure and releases)
Bone crushing exhaustion
Fear—so much fear (anxiety)
Ego Dissolution
The dissolution of the ego feels like dying. Because that’s precisely what is happening. The ego is dying, dissolving, shedding, so that the light of spirit can shine through.