Reflected Opposites

It is in the opposite that we learn the most.

It is in the polarity that we learn the depths of our full encompassing self.

That is why our soul has traversed layers of suffering, heartbreak, and fear.

For to truly know oneself, the surest way is to be reflected in the opposite of yourself. And know that it is always just that–a refraction hologram of your true self.

All of us are pure source. Pure love. Pure divinity. Pure oneness. THAT IS WHO YOU TRULY ARE.

But what is the opposite of this?

Fear. Suffering. Separation. Individualism. Disconnection. Hurtfulness.

We learn the depths of our whole self as we traverse the plains of suffering. We learn the rainbow of emotions that we can express. We find new layers of ourselves in the deep hollows of our shadows.

I have deeply and intimately known fear in my life. Both individually and collectively.

I’ve experienced heartbreak.

I’ve been into the nooks and crannies of my shadows.

But the most recent example I can give of learning, growing and finding out more layers of myself comes from my last role in a job that I deeply disliked.

Our company had gone through a massive re-org and the corporate operating system had firmly taken grip of what once was a values-driven, more ‘mom & pop’ style organization.

I was on maternity leave unraveling at the seams as I succumbed to a very intense Dark Night of the Soul. I had to pick a new job owing to the restructure. From my perspective, there were no good options–I was stuck between a rock and hard place.

The week I went back to work I was in the void, I was nothingness, I was free falling into the abyss of no longer solely operating from my ego based humanside.

I couldn’t sleep. I was having panic attacks on my drive to work.

How was I expected to fulfill a Director of Marketing role in an extremely high-stress new corporate environment with a 3 month old baby, a toddler, while literally shattering to pieces.

My days were spent surviving. I cried almost every night. I was an absolute emotional wreck.

I felt trapped.

I had to learn how to put together a bottoms up budget, I had to present a marketing campaign in front of 300 people, I had to manage a team.

I had to breastfeed, and get up in the middle of the night.

I had to walk the dog and cook dinner.

All while I could barely focus because my internal operating system was recalibrating itself to live from my soul/higher self.

I remember being on calls where my vision would go blurry and I couldn’t even comprehend what people were saying because the pressure cooker energy was so intense.

I was so bone deep tired not only from my job and taking care of two small children, but because of the intensity in which my entire being was shifting.

As my new operating system and way of being started to come online more and more. I realized the intense polarity of how my outside world was in direct conflict to my inner world.

It was the opposition and polarity I found myself in that taught me even deeper layers about myself.

I knew that this way of life was not it.

This corporate grind and hustle.

Everything about how this newly structured company was in opposition to my new way of being. And my life was in direct opposition to how I wanted it to be.

But I realize now that this tension and polarity was a deep learning and guidance. I learned so much more about myself and where I wanted to head because of being in opposition.

It was in the opposite that I learned the most for the next chapter of my life.

And I now look back on the part of my life with a, ‘phew made it through that phase,’ but also with a profound gratitude for all it taught me. It was all happening FOR ME.

Everything, even when extremely challenging, is always happening for you. To guide you to shifting and evolving your consciousness back to the divinity that you are.

There is another layer to this as you continue to progress–you learn that the oppositions, the polarities–when they come into balance they create a perfect union of wholeness, of oneness. Just thinking about this makes my heart-ache as it’s so beautiful.

This is why we do not need to shun the darker parts of ourselves–it is there to bring us back into union, to alchemize into the wholeness of our goddess consciousness.

Gods and goddesses–I see all of you and I love you.