Defeat

There is no awakening without defeat. Because it is unto the cracking, unto the breaking, unto the shattering that the light can seep in.

If you do not hit the bottom. If you do not fall into defeat. If you do not let go and let in with your arms up in the air waving in absolute and utter yielding of all that you are, then you are still being run by the ego.

The ego will not relent when you are cheerfully going about your life. The ego will not crack open when everything is going right in your life.

It’s in the defeat that the magic happens. And it is never your mind, or who you think of yourself as that ultimately transforms you once you completely and utterly hit the bottom. It’s always lifeforce, it’s always source, it’s always your higher self. You realize you cannot will your way out of things. There is no forcing your way out of your fears. There is no forcing your way out of deeply draining parental & societal programming. There is only the beauty of who you truly are, of source that can heal your wounds and what drove you to your deepest defeats.

And source is pure flow. But when you are gripping so intensely to your ego driven life. There is no room for source to flow through you. When you are holding on so tightly to the life that you build with your mind, it’s as if you are almost squeezing the life out of yourself. And as we all well know, in this gripping and in this man-handling of our life, it never, ever goes to plan. Because we can not force our life through will of our mind to be a certain way. That’s not how it works.

So it’s in the defeat, it’s in the complete and utter letting go, that we can finally sigh and say, welp I give up. I truly and utterly give up.

Here you go universe, take the reins. I can’t control things anymore, I can’t keep grasping and striving and driving and banging my head against the wall. I can’t keep living like this (insert whatever misaligned fears or baggage you are carrying around).

I simply cannot. So I bow in defeat. I relent. I give up. I give in.

And then what happens. We are so afraid of this. We are so afraid of the defeat. We are so afraid of the rock bottom. We are so, so terrified of letting go.

But truly, and I promise this, that is where the magic happens.

By relenting our grasp on life we allow source, life force energy, eternal ever flowing creative consciousness to flood our system and to show us that it’s all about living in the flow. Living in the flow of our own unique expression on this earth.

YOU don’t change anything. YOU don’t get anywhere (at least the ego doesn’t).

It’s actually the eternal, love filled, universe incarnate being that is the one that shines forth from your heart and soul. That is who you embody after you shatter and fall in utter and absolute defeat. It’s actually who you have always been but the ego keept you shrouded with blinders on.

So bow in defeat. Let your ego bow in defeat.

I have been there many, many times along my path. I’ve had to face all of my fears in the face and be like welp here ya go world, here is all of me.

I’ve done this with knees buckling, with tears streaming down my face, with my head bowed and shoulders slouched.

And it is not only internally that I have done this, it’s also externally where I’ve had to completely and utterly surrender all that I am. Through my fear of failure. Through my fear of public speaking. Through my fear of not being enough for people and people pleasing. Through giving my power up to others while forgetting that I had all the cards the entire time.

I look back on the string of defeats throughout the awaking process and I now fondly see them as so, so beautiful. Because they allowed me to crack only to find out that I am so much more than I ever thought I was. And that my power comes from my heart. And my creativity and life force comes from the entire, expansive, infinite universe.

You realize that you are it. You are god consciousness. All of us are. Every single thing on this planet is.

And so you thank the defeat, you bow your head in deep gratitude for the defeat and you realize that you just simply had to shatter so the light of a million of stars could shine through.